Getting Professional Help

The first time I went to see a counselor, I didn’t go back. 

He said we’d need to talk about my childhood. I had no intention of talking about that. He said we’d need to meet often. I was newly married; we didn’t have money for this.

He was right about both things but I wasn’t ready.

The second time I went to a counselor was more than a dozen years later. I was still scared, and still didn’t understand how counseling worked, but I was in trouble and I knew it. 

It was the beginning of my recovery. 

Most of us who are struggling with compulsive sexual behaviors will at some time need professional, psychological help.

How do you know when it’s time? When you are realistically observing your life and see you are stuck. You have a hard time sorting out your thoughts and feelings. Negative consequences are piling up. You keep making promises of change to yourself but aren’t keeping them. 

Honestly, some of us who start counseling, therapy or treatment are more motivated because those around us want us to change.

It’s important to be willing to do whatever it takes to change your life. Maybe you’re not there, yet. But you can be willing to become willing.

What to look for

The two keys to finding a counselor to work with are competency and chemistry.

Does this counselor or therapist have proficiency and experience dealing with the issues you’re needing to work on? Not every counselor does, so it’s important to figure this out.

Is this someone you trust, or think you can trust, someone who seems to get you, relate to you?

You may have difficulty finding a good therapeutic resource in your area, but things are developing in telehealth. Face-to-face counseling may be preferred, but we do our work however we can. 

While good therapy costs money and time, how much is your wellbeing worth to you? 

Keep at it until you find the person who can help you do the work you need to do. This is up to you. No one can do this for you.

Where to look

When working on your compulsive sexual behavior it’s essential you find someone who is trained in this area. One resource for finding a certified sex addiction therapist is here.

In the Fifteen Practices resource package I’ve written more on this topic of professional help and you can find that here.

Ultimately, you are responsible for finding resources to help yourself get where you want to go. No one is coming to rescue you. 

The really great news for all of us is we have better access to more resources than ever before.

I am so grateful for the professional help I’ve utilized over the years. I wouldn’t be here now if not for that help.

What’s your next step in pursuing professional treatment? tcr