What Do You Tell Someone Who Has This Problem?

A few years ago, a friend asked me, “So what would you tell someone who’s got a problem with porn, is scared and ashamed, and doesn’t know what to do?”

That’s a good question.

In the context of our discussion, my friend and I were talking about someone who is spending time looking at porn, doesn’t like that they are, maybe has a church or faith background, is ashamed or embarrassed, doesn’t know who to talk to about this—and really, if they’re honest, doesn’t want to talk to anyone. 

But they do want to figure out how to deal with their problem.

What would you tell this person?

After years of working my recovery, interactions with others on the recovery road and two certifications later, I’ve come up with my answer. 

Now let me be clear: pairing written thoughts with self-made videos was my friend’s idea. And it was a very good idea, even if along the way I wondered what I’d gotten myself into.

What I’ve come up with, then, are two resource packages designed for folks who are recognizing they have a problem and don’t know what to do.

The first resource package is for those who are just recognizing that they spend a lot of time watching porn, it’s taking up a bigger space in their lives than they feel good about, but when they try to stop, they can’t quite stay stopped.

For them we offer the resource package “Four Tasks for Getting Your Life Back” which has six brief videos and six pdfs. Each pdf has some teaching content along with things to do. You can find it (here).

The other resource package is “Fifteen Practices for Living the Life You Want” and you can find it (here). This package gets into sex addiction and how it works, evaluating the depth of their problem, what recovery looks like and how to get started. It has seventeen pdfs and corresponding brief videos. As with Four Tasks, each pdf has teaching content and some things to do.

The pitch of both packages is invitational, encouraging, and shame-free. 

These are the resources that would have tremendously helped me when I was a young man. They would not have solved everything for me, but they would have helped me understand what I was dealing with, what I could do about it and that the negative messages in my head weren’t true. 

There are a tremendous number of folks who are struggling with sexual thoughts and behaviors right now who could really use this kind of help.

Because of LivingIntegrated’s insightful Board and incredible supporters, we are offering these resources free, no charge. We want these to be as helpful and available as possible. 

So please, help us here. Use them. Pass them on to others. In any and every possible way refer to them on social media.

The tsunami of compulsive sexual behaviors is sweeping through societies, organizations, spiritual communities and families. We know these resources can bring hope and healing to many.

Please help us pass them along. tcr